November 28, 2010
We’re driving back from San Diego…. Well, he’s driving – I’m riding. I think this is the first holiday return trip that we’ve made in a long while where we didn’t wait till Monday to drive back home --- but hey, we’ve got stuff to do! Of course, the other 356,229 families heading north on I-5 are right behind us!!
In the last few weeks, a number of my FB friends have been posting what they’re grateful for each day….. while most of them were good reminders to be appreciative for the really important things each day, I found myself just simply, yet anxiously waiting for Thanksgiving Day – when I would see Rachel with my own eyes and hug her tight …. Then I could let my breath out, knowing she really was o.k.
I find myself holding my breath a lot. I don’t think it’s good for your blood pressure…. And it can make you turn blue. Not that THAT has happened to me. But, in moments of anxiousness --- like when you’re wondering whether the insurance company is gonna cover THIS doctor opinion visit --- or when Ra calls to ask us to pray, because the nerve in her leg is acting up …. The very thing you don’t want to hear after being told that’s one of the things that can be damaged by the radiation treatments she’s forced to endure to battle this C__C__ (funny, you could probably fill in those blanks with only the letter “a” and it would pretty much define the disease). You can see why I hold my breath a lot.
While I hold my breath literally, I’m trying not to hold my breath figuratively….. I’m trying not to put ‘life’ on hold as we wait out this process. It’s a really easy thing to do --- put your life on hold. And then you look back and realize that you haven’t enjoyed the little, everyday moments that make up a life. I want to fully appreciate those moments – reading out-loud from my MIL’s journal as we finish up our Thanksgiving drive – having the patience and time to let my 3 yr old grandson ‘help’ prepare dinner, and together, work on the USA puzzle …. for the 10th time that day.... Watching our daughter and son-in-law participate in their first communion service together, and feeling so blessed to have daughters, who along with their husbands, are pursuing a relationship with Jesus.... Getting lost in the eyes of our 4 month old granddaughter, knowing therein lies an ocean of love. …….
Did you hear that? I think I exhaled ………
We’re driving back from San Diego…. Well, he’s driving – I’m riding. I think this is the first holiday return trip that we’ve made in a long while where we didn’t wait till Monday to drive back home --- but hey, we’ve got stuff to do! Of course, the other 356,229 families heading north on I-5 are right behind us!!
In the last few weeks, a number of my FB friends have been posting what they’re grateful for each day….. while most of them were good reminders to be appreciative for the really important things each day, I found myself just simply, yet anxiously waiting for Thanksgiving Day – when I would see Rachel with my own eyes and hug her tight …. Then I could let my breath out, knowing she really was o.k.
I find myself holding my breath a lot. I don’t think it’s good for your blood pressure…. And it can make you turn blue. Not that THAT has happened to me. But, in moments of anxiousness --- like when you’re wondering whether the insurance company is gonna cover THIS doctor opinion visit --- or when Ra calls to ask us to pray, because the nerve in her leg is acting up …. The very thing you don’t want to hear after being told that’s one of the things that can be damaged by the radiation treatments she’s forced to endure to battle this C__C__ (funny, you could probably fill in those blanks with only the letter “a” and it would pretty much define the disease). You can see why I hold my breath a lot.
While I hold my breath literally, I’m trying not to hold my breath figuratively….. I’m trying not to put ‘life’ on hold as we wait out this process. It’s a really easy thing to do --- put your life on hold. And then you look back and realize that you haven’t enjoyed the little, everyday moments that make up a life. I want to fully appreciate those moments – reading out-loud from my MIL’s journal as we finish up our Thanksgiving drive – having the patience and time to let my 3 yr old grandson ‘help’ prepare dinner, and together, work on the USA puzzle …. for the 10th time that day.... Watching our daughter and son-in-law participate in their first communion service together, and feeling so blessed to have daughters, who along with their husbands, are pursuing a relationship with Jesus.... Getting lost in the eyes of our 4 month old granddaughter, knowing therein lies an ocean of love. …….
Did you hear that? I think I exhaled ………
2 comments:
Welcome back, Mimi!
I think blogging is the perfect time to just let yourself "breathe".
Love you. (and I'd love to see that journal someday too)
love you so much and love to see the outpouring of love that you have for Vida and Leo! you are an amazingly strong woman I am happy to learn from daily!!
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